I must be tripping...white shirt becomes tie dyed....

So, I'm walking down the street. Minding my own business. When out of nowhere come these really crazy looking freaks in tie dyed t shirts. They asked if I was thirsty and I said, "No." Of course I wasn't gonna drink something from some fruitcake in a tie dye. I did, however, ask if they had some Visine or ClearEyes drops that I could use. Funny thing, all six of them tie dyed bozos had some. I'd gander it was generic because they weren't labeled. Well, this sis about where things go a little fuzzy. I remember looking at myself in the mirror and seeing a tie dye on me that was moving. Yup, moving...and, changing colors too. I distinctly remember leaving home in a white shirt. My hair had gone gray also...then green, orange, blue, purple and some color I have never seen before. I woke up and did not know where I was. It was pretty darned cold though. Come to find out I was in Nova Scotia of all places. Apparently, I wandered into an ostrich farm and was somehow corralled with all of the ostriches onto a cargo plane bound for Argentina. Once in Argentina, I was immediately branded "El Loco Diablo." No idea what that means. I do know that I was injected, multiple times, with ostrich tranquilizer and then placed on the next plane out of the country. Which happened to be bound for, you guessed it, Nova Scotia. It is illegal, for some odd reason, to enter Nova Scotia naked, on a transport plane with "El Loco Diablo" tattooed across your forehead and back. Who knew. The next plane to the States leaves in an hour. Wonder what happened? It should be Wednesday and it's Friday. Darned tie dyed kids. Jimmy Tie Dyes.

Ok...you may have guessed it...The tie dyes gave us away.

I recently got asked if I support democrats or republicans(note the lower case). The only capable response I could give was, "Neither." Maybe it was the fact that we were wearing tie dyes that made our opinions worthless. I couldn't tell you. But, something sure did. The part that perplexes me is why ask a question if you already know the answer? Let's see. Two political parties have toggled back and forth for how many years now? Problems keep getting a lot worse. If you randomly choose to not elect one party then there's a 50% chance that that party is the one not causing all of these problem things. However, if you choose not to elect either one of the two then there's a 100% chance that you elect the party that has not been a so-called "problem maker." That's just my tie dyed opinion. Jimmy Tie Dyes.

The Democrablicans are coming...and they aren't wearing tie dyes!!!

The newly formed Deomcrablican Party is proposing stiff new penalties for being a hippie. Measures include immediate search and thrash of people in tie dyes, detainment of those bearing dreadlocks and the stopping of every Volkswagon Van with stickers all over it. We are hoping to rid our nation of such indignant free-thinkers. We simply cannot have our populous loving one another and opposing our wars ever again. And, just in case you do not know what to look for follow this link http://www.mytiedyes.com. But, I warn you, that those crazy hippies may have some form of mind control that produces LSD or pot-like psychotropic highs subliminally layered in the electric impulses coming through this internet thing-a-ma-jig...however it works. Anyway, don't look at it for long. But you should be educated about these exact type of things that Satan tries to seduce our younger flock with.****Warning: I know that this is silly, but it is actually still quite illegal for non-police or military to assault a hippie without just cause. I know, I know...silly. Make sure you have something like a knife or some dope to plant on them after you beat them. You can also invite one into your home and say you just got home and they had broken in. Hint, hint.*****

The greatest danger to our society is those gall-darned tie dye wearing fruit nuggets. Nothing gets my gizzard like seeing a grown feller in some rainbow-coloredee girl's shirt. Tie Dyes. Ptoooeeee. I say we round up ever tie dyed fool and put em to work in chain gaings. That'd be the only place I'd care to see a bunch of people wearing tie dyes and loving one another. It jess ain't right.

You can always reach me at rosavicious@hateahippie.com.

*This post was intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not condone acts of violence towards people in or out of tie dyes.

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